LISTEN. And listen VERY closely. You CAN’T have both. You can’t have the relationship you fought him to have with you and revenge for the hurt you experienced on your way there. You honestly have to pick one. You fought long and hard as his ride or die and he finally sees that with you is where he wants to be and he’s ready to be the right man; not only for you but for his self as well. But now that he’s decided to take his seat at the table, the memories of him playing the field and perusing through options are in the back of your mind. So you continue to entertain the DMs and the ex boyfriends that you always allowed to linger around because he was playing games too; because in your mind “I mean he did his dirt. I’m not even taking these dudes serious.” Unknowingly you started to become everything you hated about him. You find yourself doing all the things he did to make you feel insecure about the relationship. Secretly texting other people, deleting threads, phone laying face down or on DND💤 when he’s around… you’re now the problem in your relationship.
They say women are stronger than men emotionally to justify a woman’s ability to stand by their man’s side during all the bullshit and put herself aside for the betterment of their relationship. But if you’re holding a grudge when everything is the way you fought for then why did you wait? Are you happy or are you playing a game or simply playing happy? If you weren’t over the issues in the relationship and infidelities why did you agree to continue the relationship? You were free to go at any point but you stayed.
Don’t fight for something and ruin it all in the same breathe. If you want the relationship and you’re willing to stay until it is what you expect from it then be my guest. Just understand when you make the decision to work it out and stay you cannot hold the things done in the time in which you decided to wait against your significant other.
You’re human, of course you were hurt by some things; but you defeat the purpose in what you stood in the ring for. I believe there’s a difference in playing your part & working on your relationship and playing a fool & stepping stool. Sometimes we feel as though we’re doing both and resent the person for making us feel so low. Those feelings sometimes cause the relationship to go sour. Staying can be sweet and sour but you have the power to decide if you want to embrace the sweets and let go of the sour. Don’t be a Sour Patch Kid, love. 💋