In a world of flawed men, are women expected to lower their standards or accept being alone? How much of yourself and self-respect would you give for “love”? If you accept things lower than what you deserve and stand for what does that mean for your standards and expectations for your children? After a man continues to cheat, use, and abuse you, you decide to stay. You have children with him.. what type of advice do you give your daughter in regards to the respect a man should have for her after witnessing her father disrespect you in certain ways? What type of man are you raising giving him the examples of how he should love a woman he decides to pursue when he comes of age. Forgetting that we have little people watching EVERYTHING we do and taking notes, we ruined the future of love. The existence of happily ever after has become so warped and distorted by the images that frequently came into our life between the Florida & James Evans, Cliff & Claire Huxtable, Martin & Gina, we also witnessed the abuse of our women and miseducation of what it means to truly love someone. Pain may be inevitable but if a love brings you more pain than joy then when is the right time to let go of the “I remember when he used to…” and recognize who he truly is at that point. As stated in my Dating Naked blog we introduce ourself as one person and at times it’s the kept up and clean on paper version of ourself rather than the raw, uncut, and naked version of ourself. Causing someone to fall in love with the facade of yourself is like a witch casting a spell on you. You continue to crave for that person you knew before the transition and hold on so tight with hopes they would come back. But that was never them to begin with.
Set standards and don’t bend or break them! As I continue to grow, I learn my worth and the boundaries I shouldn’t let people cross without consequence. Everything is not ok. Everything is not suppose to be easily forgivable. Dedicating your time, heart, and anything else you bring into a relationship is a huge step. Anyone that takes it for granted should have their access in your life revoked! Loving yourself to the highest capacity is the first step in fighting for our future in love. We enter new situations making the same mistakes because we didn’t think about what we got out of the last relationship; causing people to become serial daters pursuing situations even if it was the same exact thing they just got out of. Self-love begins with being able to define what exactly you want from a significant other or friend. Truly loving yourself will allow you to request and require all the things desired to love you. When reflecting on my dating life I accepted things as going with the flow because I didn’t understand that I was worthy of demanding that the love I received wasn’t toxic or half-assed. There is no such thing as asking for too much but settling is definitely a real thing! Why aren’t we ever exact with our requirements for love?